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Divorce for nudism?
I have been a social nudist for several years but
hiding it from my wife and kids. So far I’ve been
able to spend a few weekends (this year
a whole week!) every summer at nude
beaches or clubs by lying to my wife.
I KNOW my wife would not join me in
nudism for religious reasons (trust me
on this). I don’t want to choose between
continuing the lies or giving up nudism
so I’m thinking about divorce. Our marriage
has many other problems anyway and
there is not much love there.
I feel guilty about putting the kids through this
of course but I don’t feel able to deny or hide
such an important part of myself as nudism
for years to come.
Is there any info out there on people who have
gone through this? I haven’t seen much online.
Only you can rank the relative importance of the various aspects of your life. You should pursue the goals which are most important to you. From my perspective it appears that you don’t have a very good relationship with your wife. 25 years ago I was in a similar situation. At that time I ended a 22 year marriage. It was the best move I ever made, but at the time it was quite scary. I didn’t have any children to complicate the issue, so perhaps my divorce was a little easier than what you’re facing. You need to have a frank discussion with yourself about which path you’re going to take.
Good luck.
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LikeDislikeIs your wife a Jew or a Christian? In that case, you can try giving her the book “Nakedness and The Bible” ( http://www. bareboutique .ca/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=204 ). If she is a Christian, you can also give her “Nudity and Christianity” ( http://www .bokus .com/bok/9781425975081/nudity-and-christianity/ ) or ask her to look at http://www. naturist-christians .org/learn_naturistchristians.php Maybe that will change her mind.
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LikeDislikeI love my wife and kids enough that I’d wear a pink bunny suit 24/7 if that’s what it took to keep them. Thankfully, my wife knew I was a nudist and has been understanding about it since our early dates. Likewise, her kids know, even though they weren’t raised that way and haven’t been interested. Perhaps knowing that my wife and I enjoy being naked when they aren’t around, that they might consider that option for their kids when they have some.
Honesty is the best policy. Better late, than never. Divorce is a major disaster.
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LikeDislikeModerators, why have you not approved my earlier reply?
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LikeDislikeI agree with Rick407 – honesty is the best policy. I don’t think it’s going to help your relationship to keep it a secret.
Nudism has come up as an issue for other couples, but when it becomes a serious roadblock, it usually indicates that there are trust issues or other issues in the relationship. From what you’re saying, it sounds like you have bigger problems contend other than an interest you don’t share together..
Would she really force you to give up nudism? Is there no way for you to tell her and keep doing nudist stuff on your own, as you have been doing?
In a healthy relationship, each person has to respect the other’s identity and interests (given they’re not harming anyone or breaking the law). If one is going to deprive the other of something they love to do, there has to be good reason.. Jealousy, or imposing one’s beliefs on the other, are not good reasons.
If both partners truly love each other, they find a way to work it out. If your marriage is worth saving, maybe find a counselor? Nudism shouldn’t be a deal-breaker or used as an excuse for ending a marriage..
@Krokimodell, I think it automatically went to pending because of all the outgoing links; it’s a way for us to stop spammers. It’s now been approved.
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LikeDislikeYou are obviously not happy living a lie. You are not alone in those feelings. It is tough having skeletons in your closet, especially when they are so much of who you are and more of who you are becoming. You will feel more free once you expose the truth. Though you are trusted now telling the truth will cause you to loose credibility that if your marriage does survive you will need to work hard to regain. You may be surprised too that the weight from guilt of having this secret could be contributing a lot of the issues in your marriage.
What do you see happening if you do tell your wife about your nude recreation excursions? Are you worried about loosing custody of your children? What is the worst outcome you foresee? Is your wife someone who even though she may get hurt she can eventually look past the pain and understand how to grow or is she set in her ways? Is she easily influenced by other’s opinions or can she think for herself?
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LikeDislikeHonesty is an important element of harmony, as my pony friends would say. Your wife is the last person you want to keep secrets from. She may not join you but if she really loves you she won’t mind.